NEUTERS NEWS - Feb 2009 - Fool York:
In an unprecedented act of generosity, Foo-lan Greenspan, former director of the Foo-deral Reserve of Foo-SA has decided to donate his sp-foo-erms to the nation of Foo-srael.
Foo-lan says "Given what the Foo-sraelis have
shamelessly and atrociously done to the Foo-lestinians in their recent invasions of the Foo-za Strip, it is obvious that they are totally
insane (
and very impotent too),
caused by extensive damage done to their genetic DNA codes (
possibly due to many decades of in-breeding, and widespread goat-breeding too). It is hoped that my precious liquid will help save them from further invasion lust and warfare madness."
Foo-lan also says "Although my precious liquid is even more precious than the black gold, aka petroleum/oil, it is definitely not a Weapon of Mass Construction. So, please, please, please George Foo-sh, please do not send the Foo-SA army to come and invade my body!!!" [1], [2], [3]
Here is what some of the world's leaders have to say of Foo-lan's kindness:
Bill Foo-linton, former Foo-SA president - "Way to go, Foo-lan! Great to see you doing a rare charitable deed! You might want to consider a direct to customer pipeline solution, just like what I provided to my intern Foo-nica Lewinsky. It sure beats customer satisfaction and loyalty!!!"
Foo-izumi, former Foo-apan president and cowboy lover - "Ichiban banzai Foo-lan san! Me and my Land of the (
Very Hard and) Rising Fun supports your quest to help the pitiful Foo-ionists (
whom I believe are in great need of much, much Love)!!! In order to aid you in my quest, let me airlift you some of my politicians' yearly supply of Foo-panese DVDs and magazines, along with our exotic foo-dult foo-ex toys. I would have sent you my lovely collection of beautiful AV idols to aid you in your solo quest too, however they are currently on a long term assignment with George Foo-sh, Dicky Choo-chooney, Donald Duck-sfeld, Paulie Woof-woof-witz and Johnny Ash-crotch. My apologies!!!"
Mr Coffee Annan, former chief of the Disunited Nations - "Bravo, Foo-lan! Great to see you coming up with a (pro)-creative solution to the Foo-sraeli population reduction problem! With your wonderful sp-foo-erms they will surely now breed like healthy rabbits. Sigh, I wish you were here with me at the Disunited Nations, we need more foo-ex scandals and excitement here. It is very boring here, you know! The only interesting thing we do here is at the International Moo-netary Fund (
IMooF) [4] and the World-Domination Bank [5], where we come up with unsound drastic policies that make the debtor developing nations even more financially and economically poorer and forever in debt.
The work that we do here at the World Intellectual-my-foot Property Organization (
WIPO-ur-S) is pretty cool too. There, we lock up all of the world's ideas and virtual resources via patents and legal threats, and make it accessible only to benefit certain nations and multi-national corporations, thereby hindering sharing of the world's wealth to the masses, and deliberately hampering the overall progress of humanity. Aren't we great!?! All in the good name of Globalization!!! (
which will clearly lead to the total destruction of local self-sustainable and self-reliable economies, wipe out local cultures and traditions, and ruin the environment of Mother Earth. Hmm, in light of the current world conditions, doesn't this sound familiar???). Given all of our sacrificial hard work towards achieving world slavery and global domination, shouldn't we be given the Nobel Awards for World Peace (
and maybe the Grammy Awards, and the Miss Universe Awards too)?!? BTW, are you free for dinner and some Coffee at my place tonight???"
In an obvious act of imitation and blatant plagiarism, Bushy George has offered a similar donation of his liquid assets. Fortunately, it was promptly and unanimously rejected by citizens worldwide (
thank goodness!!!), with some populations even offering him money to keep his stuff safely up his S. [6]
Footnotes:[1] The Foo-nited States Geological Survey estimates that Foo-lan's liquid reserves stands at a total of 200 trillion barrels, and has not even reached Peak Oil.
[2] Foo-lan has started the (re)-production of his liquid assets, and as advised by Foo-PEC is pumping out 10 million barrels per day.
[3] Foo-lan is exclusively available for purchase (
only in Euros, Yuan, and Rubles) at the Foo-ranian Oil Bourse. It is given the nickname "Sweet and Sour Yummy" (
with the Floo-mberg ticker quote of SASY), and is currently trading at a very cheap and economical price of 12.69 Euros per barrel (
while stocks last).
[4] The International Moo-netary Fund is also notoriously known by trapped and struggling debtor nations forced to use the services of this Washington-based privately-owned organization as "
oh-no! I'MF'ed".
[5] Ironically, after auditing by Merrilly Lynch-meagain, the World-Domination Bank was found to be using BSD-Unix-M and Lick-nux as their servers' operating systems. Shouldn't they be using Foo-ndows Foo-sta, the World Domination OS by Micro-and-very-soft instead??? Funny!!!
[6] After his rejection, Bushy George was spotted by papparazzi reporters and seen running back to his Sugar Daddy (Bushy Sr), crying "Boo-hoo-hoo! Boo-hoo-hoo! Why do they not Love me, Daddy??? Don't they like my Dancing, and my world policies??? I feel like having wasted eight years of my life working hard to create War Of Terror, and Financial Meltdown for my nation's people (
and also everyone in the whole world too), why don't they appreciate all my efforts??? Mummy, please promise me you will not harshly Scold Me and violently Spank Me (
again)... Boo-hoo-hoo! Boo-hoo-hoo!".
The Benefits of Patents and Monopolies - Part 1:- "Patent Gridlock Suppresses Innovation",
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121599469382949593.html- "Against Intellectual Monopoly",
http://www.marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2008/08/against-intelle.html,
http://www.micheleboldrin.com/research/aim.html- "Does Monopoly Create Wealth?",
http://www.lewrockwell.com/tucker/tucker124.html- "Micropoly - The Microsoft Monopoly Game",
http://www.micropoly.com/- "Patently Absurd",
http://www.around.com/patent.htmlThe Benefits Of Patents and Monopolies - Part 2:- "Ecuador president Correa to override drug patents in order to provide affordable medications",
http://www.naturalnews.com/027278_Ecuador_drug_patents_medicine.htmlSoftware Patents are Cool:- "Here Comes Trouble: An Antidote to Software Patents",
http://gigaom.com/2008/01/18/here-comes-trouble-an-antidote-to-software-patents/Patent Organizations:- "Foundation for a Free Information Infrastructure",
http://www.ffii.org/Patent Resources:- "FreePatentsOnline",
http://www.freepatentsonline.com/- "FreshPatents",
http://www.freshpatents.com/- "Patent Storm",
http://www.patentstorm.us/- "Patent Lens",
http://www.patentlens.net/Copyrights are Great:- "An Abuse of Copyright",
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C06E0DC143AF932A25753C1A9649C8B63RIAA And The Death Of Music:- "RIAA denies copyright misuse in the wake of antitrust, monopoly accusations",
http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/news/2007/08/riaa-denies-copyright-misuse-in-the-wake-of-antitrust-monopoly-accusations.ars- "LimeWire slams RIAA members' 'illegal online cartel'",
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/09/26/limewire_riaa_counterclaim/,
http://www.chillingeffects.org/weather.cgi?WeatherID=556- "RIAA's SafeNet Caught In a Lie",
http://news.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/07/09/2228226&tid=123- "RIAA Sued For Fraud, Abuse, & "Sham Litigation"",
http://news.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09/03/01/174249&from=rss- "Marie Lindor to Move for Summary Judgment",
http://recordingindustryvspeople.blogspot.com/2006/02/marie-lindor-to-move-for-summary.htmlI Love The D-M-C-A:- "Death by DMCA ",
http://www.spectrum.ieee.org/jun06/3673Nationalism Is Cool:- "Venezuela's Chavez turns to confrontation in crisis",
http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE5253LE20090306The Dangers Of Privatization:- "The Corporation",
http://educate-yourself.org/zsl/corporationmovie04mar04.shtmlSovereign Trade is Better:- "THE US-MALAYSIA FTA: IMPLICATIONS FOR MALAYSIAN SOCIETY",
http://www.ftamalaysia.org/- "Starving the Poor",
http://wggc.resist.ca/node/59
